Archive for February 4th, 2010
Posted on February 4, 2010 - by admin
In My Mind’s I
By Harriet P. Gross
The sky was blue, with long, high wisps of white cloud. The air was clear. There was a bit of a breeze. It was the perfect day for many things. A funeral was not one of them. But then, there’s never a perfect day for a funeral, is there?
Still, I knew that even bad weather would not keep people from this simple graveside ceremony. Not like the woman who saw me after the recent death of one of her supposedly dear friends; when she told me, I said I already knew; I had been at the funeral. “You went?” she responded, visibly surprised: “But it was raining!” Today we would be saying a last goodbye to someone who would draw us together, even in the rain.
However, I never anticipated how many people would actually be there.
When I turned into the cemetery’s main drive, I had to park my car behind the longest line of parked cars I’d ever encountered for a service in our synagogue’s section. It was a far walk; I remembered when I’d been to a funeral in the same place before my knee replacement and had trouble navigating only the short distance from the usually unoccupied closer-in parking spots. Bless the good Lord for successful surgeries, I thought, as I trudged onward.
Suddenly, looking ahead, I was facing a sea of darkness. More black-clad mourners than I’d ever seen at a gravesite. They virtually surrounded it, three and six and 10 deep, quietly waiting. It was almost time to bury Susan Blumka.
Why had so many come here to say goodbye? This woman wasn’t famous. She wasn’t a recognized leader in politics or any branch of government, not even in any local organizations. Not even in the synagogue she loved so much. She was, “simply,” a wife, a mother, a teacher. Not so simply, however — because in each of these roles, she was the quintessential mensch. She lived for the happiness of others, which is what made her happy. She smiled, always, even into the face of the cancer that, after almost a decade and a couple of false-hope remissions, finally claimed her.
Adam Raskin was her rabbi and her friend. He eulogized her from the heart, recalling that as he prepared to leave after a last, heartbreaking visit to her hospital bedside, she reached up, squeezed his hand, looked directly at him and thanked him for coming — “as if she were walking me to the door of her home after a dinner party,” he told the crowd of mourners. The darkness of their garb was like that which once descended over Egypt, described in that very week’s Torah reading. Three days of darkness. Susan had passed away on Friday, erev Shabbat, and was buried on Monday. Three days. And our skies were blue. Had she lightened the heavens?
Susan’s family was there. Her friends were there. Her many students of many years were there. Her husband, with whom she had shared not even 25 too-short years of marriage, sat there with their teenage children. The children’s friends were there, many standing together with arms linked, a long line of solidarity. When Susan was only 6, the same disease had claimed her mother. Susan lived longer, but had not reached 10 times that.
The family did not want to watch the grave being covered, so the mourners formed two long, dark lines that stretched past the parked cars, holding them, exchanging a few words and more than a few tears as husband and children passed between them. Then we performed our final mitzvah. And I recalled another funeral, years ago, when the day was not clear. A heavy downpour threatened to collapse the tent over the gravesite of Frieda Bloom, who died in her 90s, after more years than anyone could count of faithful volunteer service to her temple’s Sunday School, fetching and shlepping and rolling untold mounds of tzedakah coins every week. The late Rabbi Gerald Klein motioned for that crowd of mourners to go inside the nearby small chapel, where he said to us: “I’m sure Frieda wouldn’t mind that we’ve come in out of the rain.” And then, after a pause: “But I’m also sure there’s no one here who wouldn’t stand out in the rain for Frieda.”
I’m sure that if the skies had been dark on this more recent day, the mourning crowd would not have been diminished. We would all have stood out in the rain for Susan.
E-mail: harrietg@texasjewishpost.com
Posted on February 4, 2010 - by admin
Ask the Rabbi
By Rabbi Yerachmiel D. Fried
Dear Rabbi,
Could you please explain the custom of blessing the children on Friday night? I recently saw it for the first time and thought it was very beautiful; I wish I had done it with my children when they were growing up. Is it something all Orthodox Jews do?
Joan T.
Dear Joan,
Blessing the children on Shabbat eve is, indeed, a custom which has been observed by traditional Jews since time immemorial. It is a moment filled with love and meaning, especially when you understand the source behind it.
This blessing dates back to the patriarch Jacob, who called together his sons for a final blessing before he died. Before blessing all 12 tribes he called in Joseph and his two sons for a unique blessing. Joseph’s two sons deserved a special blessing for their heroic exhibition of spiritual strength, remaining steadfast in their heritage despite growing up and living their entire lives away from Jacob and the tribes, surrounded by the enticing and overwhelming heathen Egyptian culture. With that they became eternal Jewish heroes, such that Jacob then declared through his blessing that they are to be emulated by Jews of all time, deriving from them the strength to remain strong throughout long, difficult periods of exile steeped in foreign cultures.
“On that day Jacob blessed them, he said: ‘In times to come, Israel [the Jewish people] will use you as a blessing. They will say, ‘May G-d make you like Ephraim and Menashe’” (Genesis 48:20).
Jewish girls are blessed to be like the holy matriarchs Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah. These women had overcome great tests of adversity and faith throughout their lives and remained strong, meriting them to be the eternal mothers of the Jewish nation.
Any parent can learn the inspirational life stories of these great individuals and find unique messages they would like to have in mind when blessing their children, each being different and needing his or her distinct life message and brachah.
We end the blessing by adding the holy brachah/blessing recited by the Kohanim/priests to the entire Jewish people when performing the Temple service: “May G-d bless you and watch over you. May G-d shine His countenance toward you and show you favor. May G-d be favorably disposed toward you and may He grant you peace.” These three blessings are meant to comprise all that is good in this world. I add my own personal words of blessing to each child after reciting the standard text.
This is a custom my wife and I, and our children, look forward to so much. Every Friday all our children away from home, from the East Coast to Israel, call in to get their brachah. It’s never too late to start, no matter what the child’s (or adult’s) age, and it’s sure to be appreciated and add much love to the relationship — something our children can never get too much of!
Rabbi Yerachmiel D. Fried, noted scholar and author of numerous works on Jewish law, philosophy and Talmud, is founder and dean of DATA, the Dallas Kollel. Questions can be sent to him at yfried@sbcglobal.net.
Posted on February 4, 2010 - by admin
Shalom From the Shabbat Lady
By Laura Seymour
Dear Families,
Today we are looking for the quick answer, the brand, the vision, the jingle that will tell us how to live our lives. “Just Do It” or “Have It Your Way” are great examples or slogans that we all remember. Our sages did the same thing! They gave all of us the message of how to live our lives. Let me paraphrase Genesis Rabbah 24:7 to show you the thought process:
The rabbis ask, “What is the most important verse in the whole Torah?” Each had a different answer. Ben Azzai said the most important verse in the Torah is: “This book is the family history of Adam” (Genesis 5:1). Rabbi Akiva said that the most important verse is: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18). Rabbi Tanhuma added: “In the image of G-d were people created” (Genesis 1:27).
Was there a winner? Which one speaks to you? Recently, the JCC staff looked at 20-plus Jewish values and had a similar discussion and debate. We aren’t rabbis but we were looking at what values represent us at the J and what values we personally live by. The discussion was outstanding — it is the discussion that is more important than the decision.
Here is a list of “Jewish Values.” Put them on cards and together with your family (or the people you work with), pick the three that will serve as guiding principles in your lives. Remember, there is no wrong answer!
- Tzelem Elohim — Image of G-d
- Kavod — Respect
- Emet — Truth
- Rachamim — Compassion
- Hachnasat Orchim — Welcoming Guests
- Shem Tov — A Good Name
- Shalom — Peace
- Sayver Panim Yafot — Greeting Everyone with a Pleasant Face
- Anavah — Humility
After you have chosen your “family values,” take the next step — what does each value look like? How do we act to show respect? What does it mean that we have a welcoming home? What do we do to achieve a good name? Judaism takes the big picture and makes it action-based; if we can’t do it, how will we or anyone else know that this is what we stand for? Enjoy the conversations!
Laura Seymour is director of camping services and Jewish life and learning at the Jewish Community Center of Dallas.
Posted on February 4, 2010 - by admin
A historic day at the J
Aaron Family JCC celebrates lobby dedication
By Lisa Rothberg
“L’dor v’dor,” from generation to generation, is part of all that takes place at the Aaron Family JCC, and the Jan. 24 Front Entry and Lobby Dedication was another example of this.
In 2000, when asked why they chose to designate their Capital Campaign gift to the JCC, Carol and Steve Aaron responded, “The Jewish Community Center is for everybody, regardless of age, gender or affiliation. Most people who have been a part of the Dallas Jewish Community have, in some way, been part of the JCC. The JCC has touched everyone — whether you or your children grew up at the JCC, whether you’ve attended a class, performance or meeting or whether your parents have come to depend upon the JCC.”
A decade later these words still hold true. Carol and Steve honored their parents, Sylva and Roy Aaron, and Sally and Sam Rosenthal, by dedicating the brand-new front entry and lobby in their names.
Jan. 24, 2010 was a day that will always be remembered in the Jewish community. Over 200 members came together to celebrate the dedication at the Aaron Family JCC. Alan Shor, chairman of the board of directors, served as the spokesperson for the event. He expressed his delight in being able to share the turnaround story of the J and how the agency was able to get to this day. Alan also spoke about the many future aspirations for the JCC. He thanked the Aaron family for their generous donation to the Jewish Community Capital Campaign for the 21st Century, which made this renovation possible.
Alan called upon Dan Prescott, immediate past chairman of the board, and catalyst for the project, to continue the program. Dan thanked Mark Albert from ArtHouse Homes and Bruce Bernbaum of Bernbaum Magadini Architects for their generous contributions to the project. He then thanked the Sayah family for their donation of the new lighting, and the many other contributors as well.
Dan called upon Carol and Steve Aaron. Carol mentioned how much the JCC has meant to them and their family. She spoke about their parents and how they would be so proud to see all the accomplishments in the community. “Now it’s our turn,” said Carol, “to make certain that the JCC will be here for our children, grandchildren and everyone else who wants to belong to the Center’s family.”
Carol spoke about the many generations of the Aaron family that have been involved at the JCC. She thanked everyone for attending and turned the program over to Artie Allen, JCC president.
Artie asked everyone to go outside to the new front plaza where Rabbi William Gershon led the mezuzah hanging ceremony. Following the ceremony, the entire Aaron family cut the grand opening ribbon signifying the opening of the new entrance.
The event ended with the recitation of the Shehechiyanu and refreshments for all.
It was a historic day at the J.
