By Laura Seymour

Dear Families,

A new year and new challenges — different ones for each of us perhaps; however, the ongoing questions remain: how to BE Jewish, what makes a “good” Jew and what is “Jewish enough”? This past year there has been a return to Jewish activities, synagogues and most of all struggling with what this all means, but as Simon Sinek says, “We must first find the WHY.” Why do Jewish?

If you were hoping I would give you answers, I am sorry — we each must find the answer that makes sense for us plus listen to others to help us clarify our hopes and goals. I saw two recent articles: “I Want My Kids to Feel ‘Jewish Enough’” by Anna Keller from 18Doors and “On Raising Good Jews” by Diana Fersko from Tablet Magazine. Keller is struggling as an interfaith family and it is a hard story to read, yet she continues to question her decisions and her life. To be honest, the title of the article was what intrigued me — what is “Jewish enough”? As we go through life’s stages, the answer most likely will change. So many people tell me that they used to do this or that but with the kids gone, they don’t. The best advice I heard to give that an answer was this: If I no longer put up a sukkah (fill in any ritual), then my grown children will get the message that these rituals are only for kids. Now before anyone reading this thinks they should go back to the way they used to celebrate, stop and question. Our practices evolve and change and that is OK! But evolve and change with intention. How you “do Jewish” must work for you and your family, but especially today it is most important to do Jewish in a way that sends a message to yourself and to others.

The second article, by Fersko, is written by the senior rabbi of The Village Temple in downtown Manhattan. She is primarily talking about the Reform movement looking at who they are and where they are going and that always includes where you have come from. Rabbi Fersko remembers being taught, “If we make them good people, we’ve done our jobs.” But the challenge is more than that — “At the end of the day being a good person counts, but so does being a part of the Jewish people — perhaps even more.” The concept she is referring to is the tension between the universalist and the particular. And, of course, being a good Jew doesn’t negate being a good person, but we must decide what each looks like and where they are the same and different.

To be a good Jew, one must be a literate Jew — we need to know at least the basics of mitzvot, history, the holidays and how to “do” Jewish. Part of it is recognizing that the values within Judaism are universal. Tikkun olam — repairing the world — what could be a better way to be a good person? But we can do it in a Jewish way.

I’m stopping now even though you may be looking for directions on HOW. There are so many ways of WHAT and HOW but back to Simon Sinek — FIND THE WHY! Once you answer WHY be Jewish for yourself, you can take the next step and choose your WHAT and HOW. The most important question and answer comes from Hillel, our ancient sage — IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

Laura Seymour is Jewish experiential learning director and camp director emeritus at the Aaron Family JCC.