By Rabbi Sydni Adler Rubinstein
Parashat Vaetchanan
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, you just might find
You get what you need
— Rolling Stones
You are not the only one who doesn’t always get what you want. In the verses that precede our Torah reading today, Moshe pleads to God, “Let me pass into and see the good land across the Jordan River, this good mountain and Lebanon!” (Deuteronomy 3:25). God refuses to let Moshe enter the land but does allow him to ascend Mount Pisgah and see the panoramic image of the land of Israel with his very own eyes.
God has said yes to Moshe many times before — God accepts Moshe’s pleas to forgive the people Israel time and time again; God allows Moshe to see a glimpse of God; and God steps in to guide the people of Israel with a pillar of cloud and fire when Moshe knows he cannot go it alone.
This time, however, God cannot say yes, as Moshe’s request is no longer to the benefit of his people. As the people of Israel enter the land, they no longer need a spiritual leader and teacher; they need someone like Joshua to lead them to military victory and to help them feel pride in their land. As Moshe acted in the wrong when he hit the rock at Mei Meriva, the people Israel need to see the reality of consequences for the misdeeds of their leaders.
And perhaps, this timing of Moshe’s death is ideal for all parties; now that the people of Israel know that Deuteronomy will be Moshe’s final speech, they may be inspired to listen more intently, to truly take note of their leader’s call to mitzvot in this land they are about to enter. Practically speaking, Moshe is also growing old at this moment in time. He is a 120-year-old human — years take a toll on even the holiest among us; even Moshe is not physically invincible. At the end of the Torah, while Moshe does not get what he wants, he does get what he needs — a chance to see the land to which he has worked to bring his people and a chance to make a meaningful impact with his final speech.
If Moshe can’t always get what he wants, we certainly can’t always get what we want either. However, like Moses, if we make the effort, we may get at least what we need. When trying to get that girl or guy in high school, we may have stumbled upon another love instead. Studying and failing to become an engineer may have taught us that another career path was the right way to go. And while commitment to a job or relationship may come with biting criticism, that criticism often teaches us more about who and how we can strive to be.
Sometimes, we need an unexpected change in scenery and sometimes, we need to be knocked down a peg to get back up with even more strength and confidence. Sometimes, what we experience may not feel great to us but may be healthy for our loved ones or our wider community. When we find ourselves in that place that Moshe experiences while looking out at the land of Israel — not quite where we wanted or expected — we must ask ourselves, how does this experience fulfill my needs? How can I find gratitude and move forward within this space God has granted me? Although sometimes we may really not get what we want or need, a whole lot of the time the best outcome is not always what we ask for. At those times, we have the opportunity to perceive the gift in the sometimes puzzling answers God delivers to our requests. After all…
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, you just might find
You get what you need!
Rabbi Sydni Adler Rubinstein serves Congregation Beth Torah and is a member of the Rabbinic Association of Greater Dallas.